Alright, I know it has been at least a few weeks since my last update. I am now going to catch you all up, so this may end up being a bunch of long thoughts with no definitive ending. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
After work tonight, I had a long conversation with my dear friend Jonathan from Boulder. He was sitting in the St. Louis airport killing a few hours until his flight back home.
We had a great time catching up on life, especially on relationships. Somehow, I failed to mention what happened between Brooke & me last year, and this spawned a discussion on the lessons I’ve learned in the past year. I told him life seems to be series of balance. Whenever something good happens, something bad is around the corner to keep you in check. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both & there you have�the facts of life.
He also shared his past relationship experiences with me & how he got the point of happiness, marriage, a beautiful son, a great job, & great fun.
One of the things he told me was when you are truly in love, you do feel jealousy & you stop spilling your life stories to other girls. Although I never admitted it to anyone, I was jealous of some of the guys Brooke hung out with. Also, I thought I should always be able to hang out with whomever I chose, because I deserve to be trusted. He put these things in a perspective that make sense to me. I was never able to see these things as negative contributions to my relationship with Brooke. However, hindsight is always 20/20.
On the other page, he told me that Brooke was doing everything she could to push me away. I won’t comment here, but now I understand what he means.
I got the opportunity to talk to my friend Jamie tonight as well. It has been a year since we hung out, and a long time since we’ve chatted on the phone. I am happy to know she will be back in the state in a few weeks, so we can get the chance to catch up face-to-face.
Last week, I got T-boned at an intersection on my way to work. My Jeep is totaled and I really miss the thing. I have had some wonderful experiences with that ride. It has taken me cross-country numerous times, on great camping & surfing adventures, and served as my stereo for the past four years. Jeep Cherokee, you will be greatly missed.
The Green Room project should come to fruition in the fall of 2005. I got an email from my realtor last week, & he gave me some positive information of the building that is expediting the process. Also, I am meeting new people every once in a while who say that may be interested in investing in my venture.
The reason I haven�t updated the site in the past few weeks is because I have been super busy. I am working 40 + hours at the bar, mastering the art of bartending, cooking, & managing. On my one day off per week, I have been working on a new website for my mom’s company & doing a laundry list of chores for Grandma. She’s threatening to cut me out of her will unless I paint her deck!
When I get a few hours downtime between shifts, I ride my Cannondale 26 miles and lift weights. I plan on taking today off to get some sun on my white chest, read some magazines�then lift weights and ride my bike. Later in the evening, I will be back working on the web site some more.
Next weekend, I will be running the bar by myself. After I close, I am heading to the beach to hang out at my friend’s bar, get more sun, salt water in my “overdue for a trim” hair and enjoy a couple of days from the bar.
I am so proud of myself for finding my path in life. Not to say it won’t change, because remember my philosophy. I won’t repeat it, but reference paragraph 3 of this update, if you’ve forgotten.
I feel like I’ve grown so much in the past year, in a very positive manner. I have changed as well. The changes have all been for the positive. Those who say people never change are wrong. Those who don’t will just keep making the same mistakes in life until they wake up and adapt.
I want all of you, my friends, to know that I miss talking to you and hanging out. I have found a passion in my work that I never thought I would achieve, since I’me a “get bored quickly” kind of guy. I have also found great happiness in the place you have to be happy first, in order for the rest of your life to make sense�and that is within yourself.
Until next time…